There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
vagina is talking i cant
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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