We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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