Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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