I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Welp...herpes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
