What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
