dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
