i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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