I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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