I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
