ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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