Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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