I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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