It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
