who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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