ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
