somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize