All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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