i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
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Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
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I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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