Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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