I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
