Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
North Korea, Best Korea!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
