I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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