doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
