id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
