awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
