my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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