after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
