i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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