He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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