ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize