these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
