My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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