I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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