yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
