he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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