the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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