Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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