We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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