then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
