remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he laminated a picture of his dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
