I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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