I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
there is glitter all over my balls
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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