Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize