Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
