One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
