did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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