Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
