Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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