i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Terrible idea I love it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
