she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
