i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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