I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
