just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
