I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
