If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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